Paul Ko!
Who's Paul Ko
Police loverboy, my idol
Let's go catch the celebrity
hurry up!
They're following me will you expose your identity?
I don't know first time I'm being followed, too
Let's just roll with the punches
Excuse me, are you Mr. Paul Ko?
Yes
I knew it, baby!
I have a huge crush on you!
I always watch the police program and have tapes of yours
Can I have a picture with you?
Baby... shoot a picture of us
Can you
Please clear out
OK
Get another, baby
Don't be afraid, come on over
They're not reporters anyway
Right, we're not reporters
You guys know who I am?
You look familiar
Lady your camera looks pretty professional
True, my girlfriend is a paparazzo
She is a police intelligence officer
Which hotel are you staying in?
Forget it, we're staying at an expensive one, let's go
He does look good, but quite skinny
Were you scared?
What's up?
Who do you think I am?
I think you're BoBo Au
You just want to have sex
I just want to save time
This is their personal business
Don't tell me you don't want to
You can't fool me
I agreed to deliver the goods 20 times to you this year
Now what?
Did you do it with yourwife?
You mean... within this year?
Did you?
I did!
Birthdays, holidays special events, parties
Just think of it as role playing
I'm not role playing with you!
BoBo, we only have 4 days and 3 nights
The sum is greater than what she gets for a year
What more do you want?
Do you love me?
I do
Why don't we commit suicide now
Here?
Whoa, human lives are at stake
Just listen in some more...
We'll make love as we commit suicide
And you can die inside me...
Isn't that a good idea?
BoBo, I can promise you anything
Except death
Marriage then
That's worse than dying
Just kidding
I only want you to do it with me now
I know
Don't stop
BoBo! BoBo... Oh! Baby...
I love you!
Baby... Baby!
Baby...
I'll go get something to drink
I have not been able to get an erection since that bullet grazed through
No way, that day on the bus
That was a bottle of your mosquito repellant
I'm sorry
I thought I may be cured once I meet someone I love
Clearly it's not the case
What you need is a real man
But I really want to tell you
That I fell in love with you at first sight
I'm being honest
Where are you going?
I feel so ugly, just want to hide myself
I like you not because you're good in that department
I like you because you said I was pretty
and that you taught me to cross streets
And I like you even more...
... when you came straight away after knowing I got into trouble
I like you, for being you
And I'll gladly give up sex foryou
Can you?
I can...
Of course, I can
Help me...
Where?
Baby...
Get him out, are you OK?
Baby? Don't scare me
Baby...
Are you ok? You're scaring me
Baby...
He's fine Get an ambulance
Please don't, please don't
Please don't do it
Don't do it, Mr. Ko
BoBo and me
We can't let anyone else know
Please
Take a rest
Baby, are you OK?
Are you alright?
I'm awake
You scared me
Don't be
So hot out here wearing blankets at 30-plus degrees
Don't move you're going to sweat if you do
Thank you, how do I look?
Not sure if this is right it's complicated
Go out
OK, ready?
Mr. Ko, come on over, will you?
Yeah, you both are our witness
Come on over, idol!
Come on
Go, idol
You're not concerned these pictures might be leaked?
I trust you
I know people, and I'm neverwrong
Get your girlfriend to come over too
BoBo
Are you alright, Ms. Au?
Although it's not real I'm still so moved
I don't want to get married
I've been married
I have no regrets, baby
Don't cry
Your make up's not going to look good
Look
Baby! Baby
You really sending these back?
If it was before I'd have sent it already
Wouldn't have to think about it
They treated us as friends, trusted us
If you sent these back
Think of the harm it will do to them
Why did you press the screen?
You sent it back already by pressing it
I was still debating a while ago now I won't have to
What now?
Can we intercept it?
They trusted us as friends
Mr. Hung, your thoughts on this issue's front cover
Do you have anything to say?
I planned to keep my silence
but This Weekly's decision to publish ourwedding photo's
really enraged me
Baby, but without it will you have done what you did?
TRUE
I actually have two deceitful friends to thank
for my determination to divorce by wife and be with BoBo
I hope to see this reporter and friend...
on the day of ourwedding reception
Go to bed
Let's sleep, OK?
I want to! I need to....
I don't have... I need it...
I can't!
I told you that from the beginning
Sorry, I was going through a rough patch
And now?
I'm over it
Let's hug while we sleep
Tabby "Meet me at the courthouse"
Your honor, I didn't recognize you
Working late?
Yes... I forgot something so I came back
Your honor!
Raymond Chau, you're accused of having excessive relationships
How do you plead?
Why are you here, get down from there
You've already committed several violations just by being here
Stop right there!
Please enter the convict's box
The court asks you
how many women have you slept with in all?
I didn't keep a count
For last year... I don't remember
Then how many women have you really loved?
When in bed with them I've loved them all
But after that you don't anymore?
Depends on who she was
Are you through, your honor?
Then... did you have any sexual fantasies with me in it?
Objection, irrelevance!
Objection overruled
The accused must answer
You?
Your age
You look younger than you really are
Do you know everything you have said and done
have major repercussions and consequences?
I am awaiting the consequences
I am a normal man, do you know that?
Normal man... will not have any sexual fantasies concerning me?
I... can resist!
The court hereby convicts you foryour lustful crimes
Did it hurt?
Then... I'll give you a chance to punish me back
Can it really dissipate body heat?
Our turtle shell jelly are made of the real thing
Get me another order
No, you'll get your results with one
You don't know what heat my lower...
You don't know what kind of heat is in my body
Don't argue, I'd like two more orders
OK
Turtle Shell Jelly can dissipate body heat right?
Yes
One order
OK
Are you really in that much heat?
Are you OK?
You look unhealthy
I know you too well
I know you, too
You're thinking of someone else
Yes
Have you heard of a simple love equation?
True love = love + sex
We can't make love, because in our heart
We're in love with another
You OK?
I brought a friend to help you
Not sure if you mind
Who?
Me
I do mind
You are exactly like what I expected you to be, Paul
You are selfish
and insensitive about the feelings of yourwoman
OK
I'd like to see how he can help me
I've already told Raymond your little problem
Raymond is quite successful in that area
Let him help you
To conquerthe number of women I did
Apart from natural talent I practiced Tai Chi
It loosens your nerves increases blood circulation
And strengthens the body
What I am teaching you today is something I practice often
Crotch of Steel!
Relax your muscles
Don't let any negative thoughts affect you, like...
blinking
Stand straight
Spread your legs so they're the same width as your shoulders
Hold your fists tight
OK
Then alternately punch...
The testicles to each fist's corresponding side 25 times
You're kidding
You have to do it, punch away!
Does it hurt?
He does have a problem
Because he didn't have to hit it that hard
Why didn't you say so?
The second style is called the Hanging Crotch
Stand the same way as before
But you need to tie this up down there remember
Not like this
But fit it in entirely
Two inches from the ground you add weights
Swing it like a pendulum from right to left 50 times
Then from front to back for another 50 times
Understand?
So? How did it go?
This guy's having a go at me
Asking me to hit it, then lift weights
My good intentions going to waste
You think by helping you it makes me feel good?
You call this helping me?
OK, let me show you something
So you'll know what I got
It's the Moscow Circus
You think it's real, I was just kidding
Uncle Lam is a mysterious master
I hear he has cured a lot of impotents
That good?
Are you starting to mind my ability...
to perform?
If you have a shot at curing it shouldn't we give it a try?
Are you Uncle Lam?
You again?
Just trying to make a living here
You know him? Let's go!
Western and Chinese medicine both failed let's try Mexican Tai Chi
I want to know if this week's cover will be me and Paul Ko
That's correct
Let me read you the headline
Impotent Supercop Paul Ko
Tough on the outside, soft on the inside
Also got your photo
on the upper right corner girlfriend looking for cure
What else do you want to know?
Can you not publish it?
Are you new around here? Don't publish it?
I risked my life for this magazine for years
throwing caution to the wind
And this is how you pay me back?
You want to talk about paybacks?
I asked you to interview Paul Ko
You used it to enter into a relationship with him
And tried to fool us about his impotence
I really didn't know back then
Chief, can you please don't do this
I'm ok to be joke of the town for a couple of weeks
But Paul will never forgive me
It's going to be all over between us
If you were me, will you publish this?
Your last piece on the 14 year old teen prostitute
Her mom came up to plead with you
I did not see you relenting
I know
I should have known that I'll suffer one day for that
I didn't expect it to be this swift and hurtful
I've decided to quit
I found out that the bad karma happens on things you care the most
Be careful
Then let's all watch out for our respective bad karmas!
One of our guys on the cover, look!
Let's pay more attention it's one of our guys
One copy per person, don't fight over it
A copy per person have you received yours?
I bought one
Bring it home to show to your mom
Here, one of our guys on the cover take a look
Have you read it?
You can't buy it outside I cleaned it up
Look, this is horrible
Plenty of details and photo's the description is really gruesome
It's designed to go in for the kill
Inspector Ko, you're wanted for a meeting with the chiefs
Have some more, it's my treat
Here's Paul, we have everyone
Come have some limp candy, my treat
This is too soft
How can it be so soft?
Come on, have some
this is too soft to be true
Mad now? Continue on...
Plenty of it, here have some more
Read it, it's very well written
Look, the photo's were very well taken
I know it's useless to try and argue
You already think I set this whole thing up
Are you going to forgive me?
Fine, let's break up
I want my bed back
Greetings, regarding a certain magazine
and its use of lmpotent Supercop as its headline
the police force is expressing a deep concern
Since lnspector Paul Ko is the force's image model
We reserve the right to sue said magazine for libel
Are you going to sue them?
Possibly
The Police force suing them
Or Paul Ko as an individual?
We're awaiting legal adivse
But if lnspector Ko decides to pursue legal action
We have received a lot of pledges from different sections of the force
to fully support him
Can Paul Ko make an announcement to the media?
Regarding this matter
as of now, I personally
am disappointed at a certain individual
Who would that person be?
Excuse me sir, is Tabby around?
She is right by the baking oven
Can't go with that
Tricky and colorful I should have known you're a baker
How did you know I was here
You sued someone before the court has your records
Keep quiet
These people don't know my life outside the bakery
Really?
I came here to ask you something
Let's talk outside my dad is on his way back
Boss
Tabby, where are you going?
Who is this?
You are her father?
How are you, Uncle?
You're calling me an uncle?
You may be older than I am
Why were you holding my daughter's hand?
He's my friend
I just came to ask her one question
We decided to talk it over outside
I'm interested to hear about it ask her now
Dad
Uncle, I think
you won't be interested
who raised you after your mom passed away?
Is there anything I am not allowed to know about you?
Why don't you just ask another day
No, ask her now
Uncle
it was your call
I just wanted to ask you
if you've ever had sexual fantasies with me in it
Have you?
I have
I told you it's not suitable for you
What else then?
The court hereby declares
that you are convicted of seducing a judge
What's the sentence?
Life imprisonment
You have to marry me
You best get dressed now
Fine, let's get married I'm not scared of you
I can't call you uncle in the future can l?
I have to call you daddy
Daddy
Ignore them, keep on baking
This Weekly finally apologized to Paul Ko
The magazine is publishing an open letter of apology
across 6 major newspapers in Hong Kong today
admitting that the impotent supercop story was baseless
The Police Force has not had any comments
My colleague has yet to contact Paul Ko himself
And the PR Department at Police HQ is also helping us locate him
Open letter of apology
You know it's true why go through with the apology?
I have decided you've been with me for 6 years
Worked your way up from being a reporter
I've never seen you hurt like that
Even so, you need not issue an apology
It's not good for the credibility of the magazine
Forget it, we can take punches as much as we give them
That's how the media world operates
Keep making mistakes and keep apologizing
Saying sorry doesn't mean you have to do things differently
As for credibility
You think a magazine like this has any?
Thanks
Anyway, it's a scary world outside
If you can't find anotherjob and is not afraind of bad karma
You can always come back
Anything I can help you on, Miss?
I'd like to buy a mattress belonging to this brand
I'd like it to be a model before 1997 have you got any?
They've stopped production on that one try this
It's been improved on, very comfortable
No, I want that particular type
Lady, our company improves with age
Can't I just get that particular one?
Where's the head?
Where did it go?
Where did the head go?
Where is it?
I taught you how to cross streets
I've lost your head
I'm so sorry
I have already forgiven you
I just don't know
If you still want someone who could not satisfy you
I just want someone who can teach me to cross the street
I don't know where to go from here
Raymond, got your invitation it scared me
Didn't think you'd make the leap
I'm sure you know
That deep inside me I have a restless heart
Obviously
in the eyes of normal people
having a restless heart means being a womanizer
Yes of course...
Sir, maybe you have not met a woman who makes you impulsive
Here comes the bride!
Tabby's so beautiful
My daughter
Dad, what are you doing?
Your outfit is so old fashioned
You're worse off than I am
Let's go
Dad, your suit looks really good
Must have a lot of historical value
Uncle
What happened?
Dressed up like someone who leapt out of a tomb
You still made compliments?
Even though your dad's only slighty olderthan I am
He's still an elderto us
We have to respect dad's choice of fashion
Some people like red others prefer green
Quick....
Really pretty
If dad had seen us dressed like this
He must be really thrilled
Look, it's so horrible
Where?
Like a member of the longneck tribe
Look at your two little piggy hands so cute
They make clanging sounds
You both look so old fashioned
Why did you change again?
You're trying to play tricks orwhat?
Come on, let's just go
the bride and groom are already inside
Did you really not mind coming along with me
I do actually
Then let me go in alone
But I would hate it even more if you went in alone
Welcome
Congratulations
Thank you
Best wishes
You're quite small
Where am I small in particular?
Everywhere and everything
Sorry about last time
Excuse us for a second
I surfed the web and found a medicine
It's for external use oil based and just spread it on
I have a friend who is a doctor in France
He tried the medicine on the surface of sea cucumbers
Those sea cucumbers end up becoming inedible
They turned harder than steel objects
Interested in trying?
I know all about you and him
Don't trust every word guys say
I actually didn't look forward to seeing you
Because you were Raymond's favorite ex-girlfriend
Actually I really like your honesty
Ladies and Gentlemen!
Let's ask the bride and groom to cut the cake with us, OK?
Good!
Oh no, I have the wrong outfit again
No worries, father-in-law
You don't have to match with ours
Just match with yours and you're fine
Come up for the picture
Cool jacket
Let's take the picture together
OK
Let's get ready
1...2...3
One more time, 1...2...3
Bye
Marry me
I'll be your knight in shining armor
I'm not kidding, I'm being serious
Don't laugh
Marry me
Say yes
Marry him
Yeah!
Kiss her!
I'm suffocating, I can't breathe
Hello?
Inspector Ko, I found the criminal that got away last time
Inspector?
You sure it's him?
Yes
I'm coming over now call to let the chief know
Latest survey indicates that
Young people aging from 14 to 25
Have started to change theirviews on sex
Let's hearwhat they have to say
In the last 3 days
Were you aroused by any members of the opposite sex?
Your phone is ringing, lady
Oh, thanks
Hello?
Carrie, I have movement down there!
It moved?
Get home quickly and wait for me
Sure, I'm going now, wait for me
My bag...
Thanks
Your micro...
Keep it for me
Carrie...
Carrie, it's been three months
I finally got back what I lost
I can't today
Then pretend I did not say anything just now
Bummer, huh?
I was kidding!
The happiest moment for every woman
is when the man she loves is able to fulfill himself